she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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