the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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