whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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