booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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