i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
