If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
