How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
