overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i believe in u and ur pee
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize