Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
