allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
