marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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