no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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