There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
