I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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