he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
