Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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