Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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