So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize