one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
