I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
