just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
