My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
