dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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