yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just found puke in my bra..
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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