Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
