Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize