singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
