its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
