Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Your cock deserves a montage
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
