im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Sorry my hands just texted you
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I need to sanitize my soul.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
