i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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