R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
