Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
