none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
