i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
