hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
