Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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