so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just cropdusted the office
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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