Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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