Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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