if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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