The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize