Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
