I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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