They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
