I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So much rum. So many feels.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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