shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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