Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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