I wish i was in the wii world.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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