he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
