Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
