is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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