it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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