The maid of honor just puked.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
its not stalking. its research.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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