then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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