ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
