Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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