just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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