help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
