Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
ttyl tear gas
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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