FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
mondays should just be called national damage control day
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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