i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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