yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
